IT'S OFFICIAL: MORIN TESTS POSITIVE FOR ESTROGEN
Carlos Morin, one time exotic dancer/bikini model and now the founder and star player of the Face Punchers extreme football team in San Francisco, has tested positive for estrogen use. Appearing in a San Francisco courthouse this morning, Morin has also been charged with attempt to distribute the dangerous drug at baby showers, male strip clubs, and the Clift hotel. He has prior convictions for sodomy and improper relations with a cow in the state of Texas. Mr. Morin has plead not guilty.
It is believed that Morin illegally attained the drug from BALCO (Bitchtits Are Legal CoOperative) in June of this year, when he became despondent over his recent suspension from the SWMGJWA (Sex With My Girlfriend Jessica Wrestling Association), where he competes as a heavyweight. Morin's suspension directly corresponded with fellow team member Jessica Randall's two month leave of absence. The departure of Randall has some of his teammates once again questioning his sexuality.
In May, Morin was quoted as saying "I miss being held by a man in the morning." His flirtation with homosexuality is well known and documented, as he has been linked to teammate Jim McFadden and most recently, celebrity comedian Andy Dick.
When asked about the case by a San Francisco Chronicle reporter at the courthouse, Morin could only manage a "no comment" before sobbing and running into the women's bathroom.