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The Weekly Face Puncher: Grand Bitches Face Punched by The Face Punchers

Monday, May 29, 2006

Grand Bitches Face Punched by The Face Punchers








In the first official game of the season, The Face Punchers proved to be a dominant force in the Full-Contact Beach Football League, which is made up of only one team, The Face Punchers. However, on Memorial Day The Face Punchers were challenged by The Grand Bitches from Hotel Monaco and as the heading states, were face punched by the official score of 9-2. The Grand Bitches, led by team captain Brian Whats-His-Name, had no chance against the remarkable defense of Jim "Nipple Rings" McFadden, Carlos "The Arm" Morin, Justin "Good Hands" Schmidt, Jessica "I thought this was volleyball?" Randall, Antonio "Legs" Perez and Jesse "I'm tired, can we stop?" Hodge. The previously mentioned players stopped the Grand Bitches to only 2 touchdowns and at this point in the season, have the #1 defense in all of F.C.B.F.L.

On offense, The Face Punchers ran all over The Grand Bitches. Carlos "The Arm" Morin threw for a F.C.B.F.L. best as well as a personal best, completing 75% of all passes, and not to mention, scoring two touchdowns. "My knee went down before the goal line so it actually wasn't a touchdown", replied Morin, "but fuck it, we just won't tell 'em". - Morin, after scoring a touchdown that actually wasn't a touchdown.
But the success of The Face Punchers came from the rest of the offense, who fought and wrestled their way across the goal line 9 times. Schmidt, Jesse and McFadden proved to be playmakers for The Face Punchers, pulling in several hard-to-get passes and making key plays to keep The Face Punchers on top.
Antonio, who just recently got fired from Clift for giving free drinks to small boys, provided broken english as well as humor to an already tired team.
"What the fuck did he say?"- Morin, after a play suggestion from Antonio.
"That mother fucker should be deported!"- McFadden, on Antonio.
Despite the ability to speak the English language, Antonio's legs proved to be spectacular, while running through and past defenders and proving to be a Mexi-can rather than a Mexi-can't.
Jessica Randall dropped two passes and threw another away, for no apparent reason.
"What the fuck are you doin?!" The Face Punchers and Grand Bitches after Jessica Randall deliberately threw away a caught pass.
Her reply? "Carlos, we're talking about this when we get home."

The females, Jessica Randall and some hot chick named Cali, joined in and provided girl on girl action as well as hard-ons for the rest of the players.
"Hey Mom, look what I can do!!- Justin Schmidt while pointing to his rock hard manhood after watching the girls wrestle after a ball.

All in all, the first game of the 2006 season turned out to be a success.
The Face Punchers for this game would like to dedicate their victory to the rest of our homies but especially to David DeChantal, who contemplated quitting his job, just for a chance to play.
David, this buds for you.

5 Comments:

Blogger Brodeur said...

Jim looks like a super fag

11:14 AM, May 30, 2006  
Blogger Milkshake said...

Los, please please PLEASE accept the invite I sent you for TTL blog. Also--I can help you Thursday with your template and whatnot, call me.

On a side note, you all look like super fags, Guns probably the least of which.
--M

1:55 PM, May 30, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Jessica,

I want to know how the conversation went at home between you and Carlos.

Also, please call me immediately. What is this I hear about girl on girl action?

I am very worried.

Dad

3:50 PM, May 30, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

jim,

stop tryin to be my daddy, you will never be my daddy! i am telling carlos!

4:47 PM, May 30, 2006  
Blogger Maurice said...

gay

4:20 AM, June 04, 2006  

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