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The Weekly Face Puncher

Monday, November 06, 2006


Carlos Morin Hurt, Black Team Devastated

In a not so surprising turn of events Carlos Morin's neck finally gave out under the weight of his swelling head. Carlos's neck, which had made a valiant effort to support his head all year, could simply not hold all the weight from the bullshit Carlos has been filing his head with. One witness to the incident, local bum Crazy Jamie Fox, said, "man his head was like four time bigger the George Lopez and thats a big fucking head". The crack head was of course referring to the Mexican actor/comedian who happens to be Carlos's idol as well as his secret gay crush.
It was also said that Carlos, pictured to the left in his white undershirt, had suffered a severe concussion from the incident. As one tenderloin child put it, " we saw that big head and of course we thought it was a pinata so when he feel on the ground we grabbed what we could and beat him to try to get the candy out." Carlos who could not be reached for comment was heard screaming like
a girl from the marina as the five to seven year olds beat him about as hard as a five year old can beat someone.
Carlos who is the out of shape Quarterback for the Black team will be put on the injured reserve list for the superbeach and will be the designated blowjob giver for the red team.
When legendary Coach Omar Nash was asked what he thought about the incident he responded, "you mean his isn'td isn't a pinata. I mean look at the fucking guy." Mr. Nash then when on a tirade of incoherent drunken ramblings involving a puppy and peanut butter.
During a press conference for the red team star Jin Voeks was asked how he felt Carlos's injury would effect the dynamics of the super beach. "If Carlos isn't there it just means thats one less person to suck my cock when I win... wait did I say that, I'm not gay I swear." Voek then proudly displayed his member to a woman walking down the street to prove to this chronicle reporter that he was not gay.
The rest of the black team could not be reached for comment but they did release a statement about their feelings on the incident. "After a lot of crying and holding each other we, the black team, would just like to say that without our gay leader we are nothing but a bunch of poo-poo eating dodie heads and in exchange for the red team to going easy on us during the super beach we will offer them our women". The red team responded to the statement by saying that they had already had the black team's women and that the black team should look forward to the most humiliating experience of their lives on Sunday.

1 Comments:

Anonymous Jamie Fox said...

i didn't say that. i might have that oscar at home, but i still want a shot at the autographed game ball from TEAM BLACK!!! after they take the Super Beach. this is seriously ruining my chances. you can expect a call from my lawyer, bitch.

9:15 PM, November 06, 2006  

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