Face Punchers Win Their Tenth...Savage Sadie Voted M.V.P.
Chalk up another one for the San Francisco Face Punchers. They have reached their 10th victory in a row, making them undefeated in the F.C.B.F.L. The Punchers, who are ranked first in the league in all offensive and defensive categories, were unruly this afternoon with "Savage Sadie" bringing home the title of Most Valuable Pussy.
Ms. Savage was all over the sand with three unassisted tackles as well as four receptions earning her the right to play with the big boys.
"Boo ya bitch!", she yelled, while standing above Teddy Twonames, just after ringing his bell. Twonames, who was shaken up after the play said, "I rolled around to the left and saw an opening, I turned it up and boom, she was there. Next thing I know they were carrying me off the field...that bitch is crazy". Josh, the only player sponsored by Nike and the only dumbass who actually bought wide receiver gloves, was another victim of the "Savage". "Yeah, she's tough. You just gotta avoid her. Otherwise you wind up hurt" - Josh, in reference to "Savage".
"Shes a fuckin' man", stated Jin Voeks, "I had a crush on her when I met her but after she took me off my feet, I hate her".
The San Franciso Chronicle interviewed Savage on her playmaking skills and here is her interview:
SFC: Hi Savage. That was a helluva game you played out there today. How do you feel?
SS: I feel pretty damn good. I came out here today to play some ball and prove my worth to this team and I think I did pretty well.
SFC: You made some key tackles out there. Is this the last we've heard of you?
SS: Shit no. Ill be back in two weeks. I plan to hit McFadden too. That son-of-a-bitch talks alot of noise.
SFC: Savage, where does all your aggression come from?
SS: Well, my boyfriend Jin Voeks has problems getting his dick hard, so I haven't had sex since I dated Morin, our star quarterback. Jin is working on his problem but from what I understand, it stems from a childhood incident involving a priest.
SFC: Savage, thanks so much for your time. We'll see you in two weeks.
The Face Punchers play in two weeks back at their home stadium of Ocean Beach.