The Weekly Face Puncher

Wednesday, November 08, 2006

Red Team Gets Drunk and Reveals Secret Game Plan

During a night of heavy drinking at local hot spot the High Tide the red team revealed their secret game plan for the highly anticipated super beach.
"Well first we’re going to run up the middle then score, then we’re going to throw and score then we’re going to get prostitutes… wait don’t tell my girlfriend I said that" slurred red team player Adam McBride as he exposed his right testicle to three female crack heads.
The red team, unbeknownst that a Ken Bastida from local channel 5 news was behind them with cameras rolling, ranted and raved about how they would dominate Sunday’s game and most likely make Morin cry.
"The field will be littered with Morin’s tears so much so that it will simulate high tide", David De Chantal was quoted as saying while he beat vagrants with what can only be described as a war club.
Several secret plays were then written on napkins and passed around the bar. These plays pictured above included: exploit Green’s lack of speed, make Carlos cry, stick josh when he does his stupid spin move, push mark on the ground and kick sad in his face, and get Arron drunk. All of which the team has been practicing on a regular basis.
After all plays had been passed around star receiver Jin Voeks ate them to protect their secrecy then without warning showed everybody his penis to prove he was not gay, this reporter still has his doubts.
The team then finished their cosmopolitans and left the bar abruptly after a very ugly blonde woman, pictured above, walked in and offered every red team member a blow job.
The red team was last seen by this reporter battling dungeness crabs on the corner of Geary and Leavenworth.


Anonymous team black's public relation's man said...

team black has actually pondered the idea of wearing wigs during the Super Beach, so team red can know what it feels like to get spanked by ugly women.

10:19 PM, November 08, 2006  
Blogger Counts said...

We all love to get spanked by ugly women now and then, but the beach will flow red with the blood of team black this weekend!

10:32 PM, November 09, 2006  
Blogger Brodeur said...

Wait, I thought superbeach was last week?

11:46 PM, November 09, 2006  

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