This Weeks Featured Face Puncher: Taylor Haisch

For this weeks coverage of The Face Punchers, the San Francisco Chronicle would like to bring you up close and personal with Taylor Haisch, perhaps the clumsiest star of the organization. Taylor, a mainstay at local titty bars throughout the bay area, was interviewed by our Chronicle reporter and this is what he had to say.

SFC: Welcome Taylor. I'm glad you could do this interview today. Now, from what I understand, you absolutely love titty bars. Is this true?

TH: It is true Mr. Reporter. But I only enjoy them when my girlfriend says I can.

SFC: And what is that supposed to mean, Taylor?

TH: It means that I'm really not allowed to go, unless she says it's o.k., which is never. I still manage to hit 'em up every so often, I just don't tell her. I feel that's the best way to go.

SFC: Good thinking Taylor. Now, how has your season been with the Face Punchers thus far?

TH: Can we talk about the titty bars some more?

SFC: Well Taylor, this is a sports article, wouldn't you like to talk about sports?

TH: I don't know much about sports, besides, titty dancing is a type of sport as well, can't we just talk about that?

SFC: Fine. Who is your favorite titty dancer and why?

TH: Well Mr. Reporter, that's an easy one. My girlfriend, because she said she was.

SFC: So your girlfrined is a titty dancer?

TH: Well, she used to be. She was horrible though, it was like she had two left nipples.

SFC: That's a great story, but about the face punchers, how has your season been so far?

TH: It's been great so far, the guys are a great bunch of guy's and I love titty bars also. Have I mentioned that already?

SFC: Yes, you have. You have a big game coming up, is there anything you would like to do different this weekend?

TH: Go to a different titty bar, that's it.

SFC: Well Taylor, that's about it for this interview, the staff and I would like to wish you good luck this weekend.

TH: Did you say something about a titty bar?

On next weeks coverage of up close and personal with a face puncher, we bring you Mr. Reading, Writing and Drawing himself, Aaron Brodeur.

This interview was brought to you by:

Raya's Slaughter House
123 Slaughter Lane
San Francisco, Ca 94102
"cause slaughtering cow's is coo"