The Weekly Face Puncher: Brodeur Demoted to Bitch Leagues

Monday, July 17, 2006

Brodeur Demoted to Bitch Leagues

The Face Punchers front office has sent their 3rd string receiver Aaron Brodeur down to the Bitch Leagues effective immediately. Brodeur, who dropped several key passes in yesterdays game, was not surprised of the move. The Bitch Leagues, which consists of players struggling to make their way to the F.C.B.F.L. and players that are having problems succeeding in the professional league, is located in Northern California. Brodeurs new team, The Little Giants, face-off against other teams of the same caliber and are currently in third to the 2nd place Girl Scouts and last seasons champion, The Brownies.

San Francisco Face Punchers founder Carlos Morin was quoted as saying, "That mother fucker sucks!", and "He couldn't catch chlamydia if he slept with Keene", in reference to Brodeurs catching ability and Aaron Keenes philandering.
Aaron Brodeur could not be reached for comment, but sources close to him believe he may be reading, writing and possibly drawing.
However, Brodeurs agent, Bob Ross, was available for comment and here is what he had to say. "My client is having problems right now, and he plans to overcome it. He'll be back in the show soon enough and he'll be a force to reckon with".
Upon hearing this statement, fellow face punchers burst into laughter and some even peed in their pants.

It has been rumored that Mr. Brodeur's off-season training had consisted of catching live pigs, a theory of his that states "if you can catch a pig, than you can catch the pig-skin", in order to become accustomed to catching the football.

His philosophy and training did not pay off.


Blogger TeddyTwoNames said...

kudos to the face punchers management for this move. brodeur's bitch status has been well known for some time.

1:19 PM, July 18, 2006  
Blogger Brodeur said...

Teddy who? Does that guy even have a contract?

Anyways, life's great up here. They made me a center so I can focus on my writing about the impossibility of consciousness while working on my game.

They also installed computers on the sidelines so I can check my email and myspace accounts whenever I get the itch.

Man, thanks guys! This has really helped!

3:56 PM, July 19, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dear son,
I'm glad your happy at camp. Dad and I we'll send you cheetos.
Love Mom.

5:37 PM, July 19, 2006  

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