The Weekly Face Puncher: Face Punchers Punch Face...Again...Morin Still Very Handsome

Sunday, August 20, 2006

Face Punchers Punch Face...Again...Morin Still Very Handsome

The San Francisco Face Punchers of San Francisco have done it again. With a record of 6-0, the Face Punchers have proven to be unstoppable and are destined to be on the sand for the Super Beach at the end of the season.

Having been given a bye for last week, the Face Punchers battled against themselves earlier this afternoon with a close score of 5-4. Jim "did you clock me out?" McFadden was easily voted this weeks player of the week as well as MVP. McFadden pulled in 5 touchdowns including an incredible catch for 50 yards from star quarterback Carlos "kittie porn star" Morin. When simply asked how he does it, McFadden responded with, "my hands are not afraid of any balls".

While McFadden excelled for his team, newcomer Jin Voeks wowed onlookers, catching 13 receptions, 3 of which were for touchdowns. Voeks, who has played in his second game for the Face Punchers, has been a key addition to the squad, adding heidth, speed and most of all, a bottle of Jack Daniels. When asked about his performance of todays game, founder Carlos "it's been two months since i've laid pipe" Morin, said, "we are excited to have him, although i wish he would get rid of that ridiculous knit hat".

Other Face Punchers who contributed to the victory were Adam McBride, Mark Brown and Ted Scott-Smith. Nicknames for previously mentioned persons will be given at a later date.

The Face Punchers football team who are ranked first in the Full-Contact Beach Football League standings appear to be going nowhere. Their rough and tough style football has them ranked first in all categories including most marijuana smoked, most alcohol consumed and most bitches fucked. Those same bitches consume most of the alcohol as well.

Aaron Brodeur, who had been sent down to the Bitch Leagues several weeks ago, made an attempt to comeback and join his fellow face punchers at the professional level but failed to reprise his role. Brodeur arrived on time but left early stating his pussy hurt. He will be sent back down along with Rich Kahle and Elder Natareno, both of whom have failed to play in the majority of the games due to sore pussies and mean girlfriends. Both players were receivers for the team but have not full-filled their duties to the team or the organization. The loss of both players will not hurt the Face Punchers chances as they weren't "worth shit", as quoted by Morin.

The Face Punchers square off in two weeks back at their home stadium of Ocean Beach or right across from the windmill.


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