Face Punchers Fight for 7th Victory
The San Francisco Face Punchers grinded out their 7th victory of the season this past Sunday to remain on top of the Full-Contact Beach Football League. Two key players made their debut this weekend, Brian McKelvey and Anthony Green. Both players made a difference in this weekends game with McKelvey at quarterback and Green on defense.
Several players including Carlos "I'm not speaking Arabic, I'm spelling backwards" Morin, Adam "my legs are so fucking white" McBride and Anthony "have you seen my sex video?" Green, suffered minor injuries but should be back on the sand in two weeks.
Due to drinking several beers, downing shots of straight gin and puffing the Cheech and Chong, scores from the game could not be remembered.
McFadden was at his best of course, catching several passes for touchdowns as well as Jin Voeks, who remained intoxicated as usual. Brodeur was on hand as well to reprise his role with the team but left early when an extra player showed up. He still remains in the Bitch Leagues.
De Chantal, who is a favorite to win the "Most Dedicated Face Puncher" award, was "talking shit and spittin' game", which proved to be a key element in the Face Punchers victory and Carlos "if your trying to get me hot, it's working!" Morin, was losing his temper, a standard behavior for Morin, who vows to take anger management classes at the end of the season.
The Face Puncher Bitches, who usually cheered on the sidelines, were not available due to a bar across the street. Players, however, prayed for a different outcome, something on the lines of lesbian sex, sources say.
The Face Punchers, whose season ends in late October, continue to clobber themselves as they fight their way to the Super Beach, the game of all games.